We rent in a very comfortable two story home that was built the year I was born. It has a beautiful back yard and a graciously large front yard that the kids plan in often. We have been renting this house for two years now, which was the plan. Actually the plan is to rent for about 3 years before we looked to purchase again, staying longer depending on the housing market. We foreclosed on our beautiful 5 bedroom, very large home with property 5 years ago. We were humbled when we moved into our first rental home that was close to 1,200 sq ft with no dishwasher and no air. The bottom of the old doors leading to the outside had a full half inch between the door to the ground. But we were grateful because we had applied to rent over 10 homes with each application returning denied when our notice to be out of the house was approaching very quickly. I remember crying to my husband why on earth every single home was denying us. Telling us that we were not fit to live in their homes.We weren't even applying in anything extravagant. He constantly reminded me that our plan was not His plan. We needed to wait. Finally, we were referred to a house in a not so great area that was going up for rent. We said we would take it after a quick walk through. God worked on both mine and my husband's heart during those 2 years. I think we had the most growth concerning material needs vs wants during that time.
For about the past year, I have been discontent at the home we are currently in. The one I once saw as the perfect upgrade from our Chrysolite house. Still modest, but it had air, (it has AIR) and a dishwasher! And the doors actually kept the heat in during the winter. Mind you, moving into this home, I was 28 weeks pregnant with twins. To top it off, our landlords are the sweetest people I have come to know and quickly became great friends. It was obviously this was the house the Lord had picked for us. We were humbled and very blessed during our two years at the other house, but this house and everything that came with it...it felt like the biggest blessing.
Fast forward to recently...I have started to become envious of other's beautiful homes. The work that they put into them and the changes they make, like beautiful wood floors, clean updated countertops, paint and furniture to fit there home just right. I knew it was something that created discontentment in my heart and I let it grow. I continued to water that seed of discontentment and began to look for new homes that could possibly fit the bill so we could do the same. Even though we agreed that we would still be renting for another year here. I could hear the Lord tell me to be still and content. He would graciously me how beautiful this home is. Our 360 view of the mountains. The perfect yard for our kids to run and run amuck. The park within walking distance. Great neighbors - as of now we actually don't have any neighbors on either side of us! What a brat I have been. I'm reminded of these blessings and I thank the Lord for his patience and kindness towards me and my ungratefulness.
We here we are. Here I am. Renting and looking for contentment and being thankful. Constantly being chiseled and refined, by His grace and grace alone.