changing seasons, change of pace

The seasons are changing around here. Some things still remain the same. The children are all napping, two on my left and two, snugged on my right. The drip and hum of the diffuser provides a calming background noise, similar to a water fountain.

the littlest tosses and turns, i hold my breath that he doesn't kick his brother and wake him. 

I try to pinpoint exactly what has changed in this season. I'm able to keep house better. More energy to cook and play. The days don't always feel as if they have swallowed me whole anymore.

my thoughts drift to what it would be like to have another baby. no, can't go there. we are done.

These season gifts me with only two children at home full time. I long over the thought of what homeschooling could be. What would it look like. Ah, I'm probably too lazy, I think. I certainly would fail them. They do so well in school, their teachers agree.  My thoughts go to what is next after not having any littles at home. I know there is plenty to do still at home, but it doesn't seem to mean as much. Not as important as what could be.

The dog whines and softly barks in his sleep. What is he dreaming about? His legs are twitching. He is running. I smile.

I would like to start reading again. I don't know what I like to read anymore. It has been so long since I have read for joy. I wonder if there is still a love for it buried deep. Or maybe it's like riding a bike. You never really lose it. 

I have started shooting with my little film camera again. The Canon AE-1. The first roll I shot, I don't think the film caught when I loaded it. That was a sad moment when I realized it didn't wind but maybe three times and then click. Release. Oh well, on to the next roll. The beach moments will have to be imprinted in my mind only. 

Along with a change of pace- still plenty busy, I want to make mental notes to slow down. Notice the small stuff. Take joy in the mundane. Washing dishes, braiding the girls hair. Play tea with the boys' Olaf set, and they actually get it! I want to sing hymns as I fold the laundry and listen to the neighbor's wind chimes. Wind chimes always remind me of the summers spent in Nebraska with my Dad at my Nana and Popo's old large home. The one with the well in the front yard and the stairs trailing between the long overgrown grass. They had quite a few that would chime. Note to self, get a wind chime. 

Another thing I could devote some time to would be a garden. It's been a few years since our last. It was a baby garden, but we grew corn, strawberries, peppers - lots of peppers...we were suppose to have a variety of bell peppers and jalapeños but it turns out they were all jalapeños. We had hundreds. It made for a good laugh and lots to gift away. I think I will start planning our next garden. 

These are just some thoughts. If you made it thus far, thanks for reading. xx